Friday, December 14, 2012
This only becomes more of a bummer when not even 10 minutes later, he is entirely well, feeling great, asking for food. Good grief. He then continues on his feeling better streak, by being his energetic (read, annoying) self. After telling him for the umpteenth time to stop picking at his brother, I complain to Roger how annoying he is being and how annoyed I am that he couldn't go to school today, which is super annoying and now I am annoyed that I am annoyed.
Christopher, who has his Fridays off, has been hounding me to play the computer, which he gets to do early on because Colin was "sick." Then there's lunch and just the usual daily things. Stop hitting each other, play nice, etc.
I sit down to Facebook and see what other people are complaining about today and possibly find some responses to my silly status about last night's vomiting episode.
Instead, what I read is true horror. A school in Connecticut has had the unthinkable happen. 18 dead 5-year-olds and many others in an inexplicable act of violence. I immediately turn on the news and am drawn in to the yet unknown details. It eventually comes out that the shooter was a 24-year-old and the Kindergarten class he attacked was his mother's classroom and her students, as well as several other people within the school. What?? Who does that? It is a horrible, sinking feeling that came over me, thinking about those parents and family members of those lost...in particular those mommies and daddies who no longer have their babies to hug and kiss goodnight, good morning, and just say I love you. Yes, my boys are home with me, I think in quick relief and almost feel guilty.
The idea of losing my boys cuts directly to my gut and makes me want to lash out and thrash and scream. I don't know how these parents are going to handle this loss, when I am having so much trouble thinking about it and it is only in the "what if" category for me. From the moment I first became pregnant, I have never known the feeling of complete and utter love and joy. Then, the bundle becomes real in my arms and there is no going back to who I was before. Everything is different. Everything. The way that I look at the world and people is different. My priorities are different. It all revolves around this baby. Then the one baby became 2 babies and it all doubles. My heart explodes for these boys. The happy, the sad, the heartbreaking.
Then years pass, they grow, they gain personality traits that don't always mesh with my own. There are tantrums, messes, frustrations, fatigue, illness, yelling, screaming, crying, and yes, annoyance. Today, I am so happy for having them here to annoy me. They don't understand the magnitude of the strength in my hugs today or the tears in my eyes when I grab them for those hugs. It doesn't matter. What matters is that they are here, now, for me to love, cherish, and hold. I will be sending them off to school on Monday with a little less excitement that I have 5 hours of time while they are otherwise occupied. My prayers for their safety will by multiplied by the hundreds.
This is a true tragedy and as cliche` as it might seem, it makes me so thankful for what I have. I don't want to take them for granted, ever. Even, and especially, when they are on my last nerves and pushing my buttons. Knowing how blessed I am with these two boys calling me Mommy is a thought that I never, ever, ever want to lose. The "I love you, Mommy" from each of them that I get make it more than worth all the other crap.
I will be praying for the victims' families and the whole community of Newtown, CT, as well as the entire country. This cuts us deep.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Christmas-no pictures
In the meantime...
We have had a fantastic time! Christmas threw up in Bobby's living room and Santa brought WAY TOO MANY gifts for all three kids. It was CRAZY. Christopher made it about halfway through before deciding he had opened enough and wanted to play with his stuff instead of just opening. Overall, it took a few hours (I lost track of the time) to get all the gifts opened. Colin was super awesome and well behaved. Asking a 5-year-old to be patient while opening gifts can be a ridiculous request, but in this case it was heeded. I was so proud of him!
Roger and I were treated very well, too. We got pretty spoiled. Roger was very well-behaved as well.
This was just a quick overview but I wanted to let you know that we had such a wonderful and blessed time with family. Those who weren't with us were greatly missed! Oh, and bonus...we had snow!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Promises, promises...
Thursday, November 25, 2010
The Miller Thanksgiving 2010
One major thing was missing for me, besides the obvious family members that I miss so much. Mashed potatoes. I might have to whip up a batch tomorrow because there is something wrong with Thanksgiving and no mashed potatoes. Just saying.
This year definitely beats last year's drama of football, broken legs, hospital visits, 10-hour drives, and stress. Oh, and the Cowboys lost today (I love you, Roger!). Great day!
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Snot, snot, snotty, snot...
I HATE snot. I have always hated it. I remember vividly going to Shoppers Food Warehouse once with my parents, brother, and sister, and my brother (who had an uncanny ability to gross even the most stable stomach out) to get groceries. Well, my brother sneezed and a giant glob of you-know-what shot out and landed on his sleeve. I just about vomited all over the floor I was gagging so much. Kids also have the ability to gross me out with their many sneezes and coughs in which giant blobs of green stuff come out and I am forced to wipe it before I throw up on them. When I was pregnant with Colin, I was riding in the backseat of my sister-in-law's SUV with my niece (she was almost 4, I think) and yep, she sneezed, and yep, total disgustingness was all over her face. I couldn't even look at the poor thing without gagging, and Elizabeth had to stop the car so she could wipe her face. I got out of that one because I was pregnant, but it's a hang up that I am forced to deal with, and it never seems to get easier.
This time of year (at least in terms of snot) is the bane of my existence. I am sure that the tissue companies just LOVE this time of year and are making bazillions of dollars taking care of the snot that is running like rivers. I wipe noses all day at the preschool, and babies (for those who don't know) HATE having their noses wiped. They turn their head in protest, which just serves the purpose of prolonging the snot wiping session because what was once only at the nose, is now all over the cheek, in the hair, and on the ear. Wonderful. Thanks, Baby.
That's why I hate this week. Colin and Christopher both have tons of snot right now and they have lovingly let me in on the game. The main difference is that I don't have to see my own, so it doesn't gross me out to the extent that other people's snot does. Call me judgmental, but my snot isn't gross. I don't like hearing your snot, seeing your snot, and definitely not touching or wiping your snot. I do it out of necessity because vomiting every time I see it is not an option. That just gives me more to clean.
Anyway, being sick sucks. Snot sucks. Being sick and having snot doubly sucks.
Sooooo, who wants to come for dinner?
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Veterans

Sunday, November 7, 2010
Halloweeeeeeen...
Playing catch up...again

This is us all dolled up for post race food and drinks. Much better.

Monday, October 11, 2010
Playing Catch Up
P.S. Here is a random video of the boys just so that I can post something.
Friday, October 8, 2010
The addition that I didn't think would happen...
Buckeye is a chocolate lab and is going to be a monster. He is six weeks old and as cute as anything you have ever seen. Unfortunately, having a puppy is a ton of work, and the world is his toilet. Thankfully, he spends a lot of time outside with Sophie (who I think would rather not have a little ankle biter after her, but is coming around and will eventually love having him here) and seems to enjoy being out there more than inside. I am happy that the boys have a dog to grow up with them. God put this dog in our laps, so he must really belong with us! If we can get past the not sleeping, pee on the floor, whining, and nibbling, I think this will be a great thing! Pray that this all comes together quickly so that I don't totally lose my mind!!!
PS. I think it is funny that Christopher can't quite say his name, yet, and lovingly refers to him as Buttguy. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
My latest endeavor...

Here is a picture of Sgt. Jason Schumann.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Colin's and Christopher's first days of school...
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Very important day!
This is not one of the greatest pictures of us, but it's the one we got that night!!!Rundown of 5 months in one post? Let's roll!
1. April--We went to Florida! Disney accepted us with open arms, as did Universal Studios and the Epcot Center. The boys had a ton of fun and even though we couldn't ride the big rides, it was enjoyable to watch the kids' faces every time a character made an appearance. We got to eat lunch with Winnie the Pooh and his friends (who all gave lots of hugs to the kids), and we saw many more!
At Universal (or Universival, as Colin called it), we had the best interaction ever--Spiderman! Colin was in awe, especially because he was wearing his Spiderman t-shirt (and so was I, just for the record). Then there was a call for heroes and we watched him run out of the store! What an experience. While at Universal, we saw lots of Dr. Seuss stuff. There is a whole section devoted to him and his zany stories! Colin and Christopher were super excited to meet Thing 1 and Thing 2, to whom Colin proudly announced, "I have your shirt!" Watching their reactions were priceless! I would be posting a picture or two, but crazy Angela has lost the memory card with all of the pictures on it. Oops. So much for those memories! If I find them down the road, I will be sure to post them.
2. May--My birthday and Mother's Day were on the same day this year. I got treated like a queen. We went to Concord, NC and visited the Great Wolf Lodge. It was a lot of fun to be away and to hang out with the kids and Roger, but jeez, it was unexpectedly expensive. It is definitely a trip to take with older children and after some money saving! We had a good time together, though and it meant a lot to be the special one for a whole weekend!
Also this month was Colin's 4-year-old graduation. I think it is silly to have a big graduation with gowns and hats, but that is what was done. He was so proud and earned "Most likely to replace Toby McGuire as Spiderman" for his class. He sang some super cute songs and there was an adorable slide show put together for the class. Again, no pictures due to that pesky memory card. Bah.
3. June--One 5-year-old and one 2-year-old coming up!! We celebrated with the kids and their friends the weekend before their birthdays since both were in the middle of the week. I actually have some pictures of that! We braved the massive thunderstorm that hit right as we set up shop at the park, and the kids ended up having the time of their lives playing in the rain and puddles! It turned out awesome, albeit a little bit wet and windy!
On Colin's actual Birthday, we filled him up with Iron Man toys and let him pick dinner. He picked Red Lobster! I guess all my bad mouthing of McDonald's has worked! I have a couple of those pictures, too.
Christopher also had an Iron Man kind of day, although those pictures are on the same memory card as the rest that are MIA. (Ugh. This is starting to depress me!) We had another fun day, and I believe we went out for lunch on his day, although my memories are a bit blurry here.
On June 5th, we headed up to my parents' house to stay for a 3 week long vacation. It was such a blast! We celebrated the boys' birthdays yet again, and were inundated with toys (mostly super loud ones thanks to my lovely family members). They had the time of of their lives! I was able to help mom weed her flower beds (it took us quite a while, but we got it done) and I helped my Grandma prepare for her move to Florida. I got to spend a lot of time with her which is always such a blessing to me. I loved spending so much time with my mom and dad as well...and I even got a little bit spoiled by them. :)
During this trip, Roger had a business trip in DC, so he was up for the weekend in the middle and we got to spend an evening in DC while Mom and Dad hung out with the boys for us. We went to Morton's Steak House for dinner, and once we stuffed our eyes back inside our heads after getting the bill, we walked back to the hotel and just relaxed without worrying about what the kids were up to. We still have nightmares about that dinner bill, but we figure we don't do stuff like that, say, EVER so one time will not ruin us! We headed back to my parents' stayed one night, and then drove to Stafford to visit with Roger's family for Father's Day. What an added blessing that they live so close to my parents. We had a wonderful day of water slide and food, some adult beverages and Rock Band, with some badminton thrown in for kicks. It's always a lot of fun with Bobby, Elizabeth, Danielle, and Sue. There was also the added bonus of Aunt Doris being there that put the cherry on top. It's times like these that we really wish we lived closer to everyone so we could have more weekends like this! After our weekend, Roger drove back down south, and I headed back to my parents house.
Colin was also taking swimming lessons during this time, and in 3 weeks, went from non-swimmer to being able to float without assistance (in deep water) and swimming like a fish under water. It was really fun to watch! He had a lot of fun, and Christopher even decided that he wanted to learn to swim...he is an eager kid and wants to do everything that Colin does. He thinks Colin is the bees' knees!
4. July--I was deep into training for my half marathon, Roger was deep into studying for his full load of courses, and we were all deep into the summer heat! We had several days over 100, which keeps my "I hate heat" self inside. You would think that this would make me do things around the house, but nope, I just enjoyed my leisure time with the kids. My nephew came down for a week during this month and stayed with us. It is always fun to experience my nieces and nephews on a solo trip. It's cool to get to see more of their personalities that sometimes get overshadowed by their siblings when everyone is around. It is also a special bond for me. Watching them grow up has been amazing!
5. August--This month has been spent preparing Colin for Kindergarten and me preparing to kill my body in a 13.1 mile run over Labor Day. Colin had shown anxiety about Kindergarten all through the summer because he was afraid of not knowing anyone. We talked and talked about how great it would be, and finally, right before the meet and greet with his teacher, he decided that he was excited about being a big kid. I found out that his teacher was Mrs. Watson (the same teacher who in the parent orientation told us that we could make learning "funner" for our kids if they don't know they are learning. Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that this blatant mistake in speech drives me bananas. I was none too pleased with this teacher selection, but decided to give her a chance. Upon actually meeting her, I found that she is a very nice and seemingly knowledgeable person and Colin seems to like her, too. Unfortunately, at the meet and greet, he had one of his famous headaches and couldn't wow them with his happy, smart, talkative self. I felt so bad for him! He started school on August 16, and cried every morning for the first 2 weeks. He seems to have finally gotten used to it, and has loads to tell me every afternoon!
Christopher is going to preschool! He starts tomorrow for 2 days a week in the 2-year-old room with Ms. BethAnn. I had gone back and forth all year about whether or not to send him this year, and when the job thing kept changing, I just decided to not put him in. Well, as soon as Christopher saw that Colin was going, he literally was begging to go to school, too! "Me go school! Me go school, too!" I was so excited to get the call that there was an opening!
I am also excited to announce that I will be working at the preschool those two days a week that Christopher goes in. I will be in the baby room! I can't wait to get my hands on those adorable little ones! It will be nice to be in the same place as Christopher, with people that I trust, and also be here for Colin in the mornings and afternoons. God blessed me with this schedule! I will also be able to maintain my training schedule with my clients and will be picking up a couple of new ones in the process. Looks like it will be a busy year for me! Can't wait.
So this leads me to now...I am supposed to run the Virginia Beach Rock and Roll Half Marathon this weekend with my brother, Jimmy and my friend, Carole (who I have been doing all of my training with). I will have to let you know how that turns out, considering that Hurricane Earl is supposed to hit at the end of the week. Hopefully, I don't blow away!
I hope you enjoyed this encapsulated version of the Millers' lives this summer, and I will do my best not to wait so long in the future...it was annoying to try and remember it all.
Months later, but here I am...
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Work, shmirk...
This brings on many different emotions for me. Fear (can I still be an effective teacher?), anxiety (what has changed in the last 5 years?), excitement (It will be nice to be with adults and to use my skills again), and, oddly, pride (I was a great teacher to my students!).
Mixed emotions doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing. Yes, I have been out of teaching for 5 years and I am sure there have been some changes. Not to mention that I will be starting in a totally different state and having to relearn different state methodologies. I will have to get used to a very regularized routine again and will have to do it with two kids in tow rather than just myself. This is probably what brings me the most anxiety. Anyone who knows me knows that I HATE MORNING. Even with all of these doubts, fears, and what ifs, I am feeling overall pretty positive about it.
I did some great things with my students. For example, take the 10 year old 4th grade ESL/non reading student with a learning disability who after 3 months of intensive reading help was reading on a 2nd grade level by the time she entered 5th grade. I hadn't even started with her until January and by the end of 5th grade, she was doing even better. I also remember a 4th grade student with emotional disturbance who would shut down and not talk and told me he "f***ing hated me" on the first day of school, who was able to be totally mainstreamed into the general ed math class in 5th grade. Then there is the 4th grader who was pulling his hair out, literally, and had bald spots due to high anxiety over his home life, who was able to go in the general ed classroom for most of his day by 5th grade. Then there was Edwin (he passed away while a part of my class in 2002) who till the day he died referred to me as the one who loved him the most. These stories are some of my greatest joys from my days of teaching and those are the things I have missed.
Unfortunately teaching was not always fun and games and joys and triumphs. I had run-ins with administrators who didn't see that what I was doing was effective because the test scores didn't reflect that. I was told by one that I was too emotional about my students. I was told I was not doing a good enough job by an assistant principal who had me under a microscope about everything from my wording on IEPs (Individualized Education Programs), to my teaching methods, and right down to what I drank my coffee in (she didn't like that I drank out of a mug). Then watching them totally botch Edwin's situation (ask me about it, it's too much for this blog) and treat he and his mother like dirt really pretty much ruined me for teaching back then. I couldn't get past the fact that if all I had to do was be with the kids and work with them the way they truly needed and the administration and yep, I'll say it, the GOVERNMENT would stay out of my classroom then I would have a lot more of those great stories to share. There were too many rules that they tried to apply to my kids that wanted them to fit into a mold and didn't take into account why they were in my class in the first place. Just plain stupid of them if you ask me.
Anyway, I have chosen to get re-certified and get back into the grind. I am hoping that my experience will be better this time and hopefully I can make a difference for some kids who need it. Frankly, who need ME. Please pray that God is able to make the best use of these talents of mine to be the best wife, mother, and teacher that I can be and that I don't want to punch too many administrators in the face. That would look bad on my resume, right?
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Who doesn't love puke?
Christopher is sick. Not just a little sick, but puke all over the foyer and himself, then slip and fall in it, take a bath, go to bed, wake up fine until after breakfast then poop 5 times in 15 minutes and puke all over Mommy 3 times sick.
Fun.
The poor kid seems so much better after he pukes, but then he wants to eat and his stomach apparently doesn't appreciate that. So, I think I am going to just starve him until whatever this bug is goes away.
Maybe if we are really lucky it will make its way through all 4 of us and we can all get to experience it. That would just be awesome. I'll call it family bonding, or the key phrase "quality time." I guess it's time to break the Lysol back out. I don't want that kind of bonding.
Justice

Justice loved being allowed on the bed...I love this picture of him.

Justice loved playing with Sophie, his partner in crime.

Sophie will miss her buddy, as will the rest of us.

