Christmas-no pictures

I had every intention of uploading the Christmas pictures (and the others that I have not gotten up yet) but can't find the cord...again. I am pretty sure I brought it with me, but can't find it. I plan on putting them up later. Be on the lookout.

In the meantime...

We have had a fantastic time! Christmas threw up in Bobby's living room and Santa brought WAY TOO MANY gifts for all three kids. It was CRAZY. Christopher made it about halfway through before deciding he had opened enough and wanted to play with his stuff instead of just opening. Overall, it took a few hours (I lost track of the time) to get all the gifts opened. Colin was super awesome and well behaved. Asking a 5-year-old to be patient while opening gifts can be a ridiculous request, but in this case it was heeded. I was so proud of him!

Roger and I were treated very well, too. We got pretty spoiled. Roger was very well-behaved as well.

This was just a quick overview but I wanted to let you know that we had such a wonderful and blessed time with family. Those who weren't with us were greatly missed! Oh, and bonus...we had snow!

Promises, promises...

I have a lot to post about, but it will have to wait. I plan on sitting down for at least a little while during the Christmas break to blog. Just know you have quite a lot of excitement ahead. Lucky you!!!!

The Miller Thanksgiving 2010

We had a wonderful day of food, laughs, and joyful interaction with new friends. We were invited (approximately a year ago) to go to Roger's mentor's home for Thanksgiving dinner. They live on a mountain in Asheville, so we made the drive up to eat. It was such a wonderful time. I was so proud of the boys because they were both so polite and well behaved. I received many compliments about them throughout the day and it brings pure joy to my heart. There was a small group of college age girls there for dinner and they instantly won the boys' hearts. They played hide and seek, tag, got buried in the leaves, and they just had an overall great time with them. It was nice to have some adult time and not worry about them!

One major thing was missing for me, besides the obvious family members that I miss so much. Mashed potatoes. I might have to whip up a batch tomorrow because there is something wrong with Thanksgiving and no mashed potatoes. Just saying.

This year definitely beats last year's drama of football, broken legs, hospital visits, 10-hour drives, and stress. Oh, and the Cowboys lost today (I love you, Roger!). Great day!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Snot, snot, snotty, snot...

EW. Snot. Disgusting.

I HATE snot. I have always hated it. I remember vividly going to Shoppers Food Warehouse once with my parents, brother, and sister, and my brother (who had an uncanny ability to gross even the most stable stomach out) to get groceries. Well, my brother sneezed and a giant glob of you-know-what shot out and landed on his sleeve. I just about vomited all over the floor I was gagging so much. Kids also have the ability to gross me out with their many sneezes and coughs in which giant blobs of green stuff come out and I am forced to wipe it before I throw up on them. When I was pregnant with Colin, I was riding in the backseat of my sister-in-law's SUV with my niece (she was almost 4, I think) and yep, she sneezed, and yep, total disgustingness was all over her face. I couldn't even look at the poor thing without gagging, and Elizabeth had to stop the car so she could wipe her face. I got out of that one because I was pregnant, but it's a hang up that I am forced to deal with, and it never seems to get easier.

This time of year (at least in terms of snot) is the bane of my existence. I am sure that the tissue companies just LOVE this time of year and are making bazillions of dollars taking care of the snot that is running like rivers. I wipe noses all day at the preschool, and babies (for those who don't know) HATE having their noses wiped. They turn their head in protest, which just serves the purpose of prolonging the snot wiping session because what was once only at the nose, is now all over the cheek, in the hair, and on the ear. Wonderful. Thanks, Baby.

That's why I hate this week. Colin and Christopher both have tons of snot right now and they have lovingly let me in on the game. The main difference is that I don't have to see my own, so it doesn't gross me out to the extent that other people's snot does. Call me judgmental, but my snot isn't gross. I don't like hearing your snot, seeing your snot, and definitely not touching or wiping your snot. I do it out of necessity because vomiting every time I see it is not an option. That just gives me more to clean.

Anyway, being sick sucks. Snot sucks. Being sick and having snot doubly sucks.

Sooooo, who wants to come for dinner?

Veterans

I know I have posted before about veterans and their importance in my life, but I am still so in awe of their sacrifice that I feel like I should do it again. And again. And again.

These men and women have all of my respect--no matter how young or old, they are in it for me and that is truly something special. Here is a list of those that I know directly (I apologize if I leave anyone out. Feel free to call me out on it!). God bless them and let them know that they are appreciated. Always.

Roger Miller (my husband)

Forrest B. Snyder, Jr. (my dad)

James Snyder (my brother)

Ann Snyder (my sister in law)

Bobby Miller (Roger's brother)

Michael A. Miller (my late father in law)

Stephen Previti (my uncle)

Stephen Marsh (my cousin who is currently in Afghanistan)

Dan Previti (my cousin)

Justin McKevitt (my cousin's husband)

Carole Anne Stephenson (my great friend and running buddy)

Mark Camblos (my friend's husband)

Leevi MacDonald (my friend's husband)

Alex Parker (my friend's husband)

Timothy Williams (friend from high school)

George Graham (my grandad)

James Previti (my grandfather)

John Steinberger (my friend's father)

Thank you.

Halloweeeeeeen...

I have discovered that I dislike Halloween. I dislike it a lot, and I hate that I am such a Halloween Grinch (I coined this term for myself. You may borrow it if you want to.) but I really hate the lead up to the day and all the costumes and decorations bug me. See, Grinch.

I remember in college, people would get all dressed up for Halloween and I always looked at them with such disdain, while secretly talking about them in my head. What about this day made it any different to go to a party, drink lots of alcohol, and eventually wander back home, only to pass out and wake up with a headache, but on this day you were expected to make an ass out of yourself and dress up in a costume. It never did and still doesn't make any sense to me. It's not fun for me to play dress up--I never liked it. I could drink beer whether I was dressed up or not. Grinchy, grinchy, grinch, grinch.

The only reason I even "celebrate" it at all now is because I have two little munchkins who think dressing up in costumes is a blast and their smiles make it worth it. Here are the pictures of my two very cute Halloweeners. Ha ha, I said weeners.

Playing catch up...again

I don't have too much to report this time. :)

I ran my second half marathon October 24th. It was the Myrtle Beach Mini Marathon. It was painful (really painful) but I did it, and managed to beat my previous time by about 16 minutes. My time was 2:12:04. I must have stopped to stretch about 70 times, but I did it. The craziest thing was that even through all the pain, I was able to spend some time hanging out with Carole (or K-roll as she was dubbed by Colin when he was just 2 and couldn't say her name right) afterwards. Roger and the kids were hanging out at home so I got a girl's weekend with a little run thrown in. We had a blast, but I was reminded why drinking all day is no longer a part of my life! I am sure I will run another one, but for now, my body needs time to heal. It's hard for me to sit and wait but it has to be done. Maybe I will just start eating a lot of crappy food instead! :)

This is us directly after our finish...ew.

This is us all dolled up for post race food and drinks. Much better.

Playing Catch Up

I have spent my entire evening catching up on 5 months worth of blogs. I made it through two and am starting to feel my eyes cross. I want to apologize to all of you who write them for not being more involved in your daily happenings. In my months long blah blogging attitude, I have neglected you all, and in doing that, have missed out on your lives. I am sorry and look forward to continuing my game of catch up and hopefully in the process, keeping you more involved in my life as well.


P.S. Here is a random video of the boys just so that I can post something.

The addition that I didn't think would happen...

Well, we did it. I didn't think we would and outright said no at one point, but here we are. Meet the new addition to the family, Buckeye.

Buckeye is a chocolate lab and is going to be a monster. He is six weeks old and as cute as anything you have ever seen. Unfortunately, having a puppy is a ton of work, and the world is his toilet. Thankfully, he spends a lot of time outside with Sophie (who I think would rather not have a little ankle biter after her, but is coming around and will eventually love having him here) and seems to enjoy being out there more than inside. I am happy that the boys have a dog to grow up with them. God put this dog in our laps, so he must really belong with us! If we can get past the not sleeping, pee on the floor, whining, and nibbling, I think this will be a great thing! Pray that this all comes together quickly so that I don't totally lose my mind!!!

PS. I think it is funny that Christopher can't quite say his name, yet, and lovingly refers to him as Buttguy. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!

My latest endeavor...

I did it! I finished the Virginia Beach Rock 'N Roll Half Marathon. My official time was 2:29, but according to my friend and training partner Carole's Garmin watch, it was actually 2:23. Her watch stopped when we stopped, so it's actually more accurate. At least that is what I am telling myself! It was a great accomplishment for me and I am very excited. I am already signed up for my second one at the end of the month in Myrtle Beach--I must be crazy, considering that my recovery took me so long and I walked around like a very old lady with terrible arthritis for at least a week! Oh well, I will rest someday!!!!

I also raised almost $500 for T.A.P.S (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors) which takes care of fallen soldiers' families. I was honored to be a part of that. I ran in honor of Sgt. Jason Schumann, who was with my brother in Iraq and was killed. I am including a picture of my brother, who also ran the race (much faster than me) and is the reason I know about T.A.P.S in the first place. It's a great organization and if you want more information, you can go to http://www.taps.org/.

Here is a picture of Sgt. Jason Schumann.

Colin's and Christopher's first days of school...

And they're off...

Colin's first day of Kindergarten was August 16th. It is quite a bit early around here, but no one seems to mind it in the great state of South Carolina that they cut off a month of summer. Oh well, I guess he got an early start on learning how to speak hillbilly...just kidding. Well, sort of.

His first day went well. He came home telling me how much he loved his teacher and all about it. The next day and the days that followed (for the first 3 weeks) were not so hot. He cried every morning, told me it was boring at school and that he missed me when he was at school (blatant lie because he would proceed to do nothing but give me a hard time when he got home and often told me he wished that I wasn't his mommy anymore), and even claimed to not feel well a couple of mornings. Eventually, he came around and now goes in happily and comes home with lots to tell me. Mostly he tells me about who was on yellow or red, what kind of backpacks and shirts the kids have, or everyone's name and carpet number. I think he is fine and doesn't miss me anymore. I am anxious to go to the conference this month to find out how he is doing academically, because he won't (or can't) tell me too much about what he does in school. We'll see if I will have to bring up all of the teacher's spelling errors or not...

Christopher started preschool on September 1st. He did great except on the playground. What kid doesn't love the playground? Mrs. BethAnn said that he was happy until she told them they were going out and he burst into tears and cried the whole time! He did that for a few days and then she learned that bribery works. She told him (and the rest of the class) that they could have a gummy if there were no tears on the playground. Apparently that was all he needed to hear because he has been great since. Also, he changes his superhero identity daily so they never know who he is going to be on the playground that day. If he starts to tear up or get weepy, they just ask him to show them who he is. He gladly obliges and forgets about whatever it was that was making him sad! By far, his favorite part of school is his new backpack, and he proudly shows it to everyone he sees. I love that he is so happy about it!

All in all, the start of school has been a smooth transition and we are enjoying it. I will let you know when the redneck accents start appearing and I have to fix their pronunciation of things. That might end up a blog all its own!

Very important day!

This is not one of the greatest pictures of us, but it's the one we got that night!!!

Roger and I celebrated our 6th anniversary on August 28! I got a hotel for the night and splurged for a babysitter to stay with the kids. We headed to downtown Greenville on the motorcycle and spent the evening walking around downtown, eating dinner, and eventually heading to Sharkey's pub, where we enjoyed some adult beverages. We haven't been able to do something like this since before getting married because I found out I was pregnant 4 weeks after we got married! It was so nice to be just "us" for the night. We had a fantastic time and I still feel so blessed that God gave this man to me!

Rundown of 5 months in one post? Let's roll!

Yep, I don't want to post too many times, so here is a basic rundown of our spring and summer. Hold on to your hats, ladies and gentleman!

1. April--We went to Florida! Disney accepted us with open arms, as did Universal Studios and the Epcot Center. The boys had a ton of fun and even though we couldn't ride the big rides, it was enjoyable to watch the kids' faces every time a character made an appearance. We got to eat lunch with Winnie the Pooh and his friends (who all gave lots of hugs to the kids), and we saw many more!

At Universal (or Universival, as Colin called it), we had the best interaction ever--Spiderman! Colin was in awe, especially because he was wearing his Spiderman t-shirt (and so was I, just for the record). Then there was a call for heroes and we watched him run out of the store! What an experience. While at Universal, we saw lots of Dr. Seuss stuff. There is a whole section devoted to him and his zany stories! Colin and Christopher were super excited to meet Thing 1 and Thing 2, to whom Colin proudly announced, "I have your shirt!" Watching their reactions were priceless! I would be posting a picture or two, but crazy Angela has lost the memory card with all of the pictures on it. Oops. So much for those memories! If I find them down the road, I will be sure to post them.


2. May--My birthday and Mother's Day were on the same day this year. I got treated like a queen. We went to Concord, NC and visited the Great Wolf Lodge. It was a lot of fun to be away and to hang out with the kids and Roger, but jeez, it was unexpectedly expensive. It is definitely a trip to take with older children and after some money saving! We had a good time together, though and it meant a lot to be the special one for a whole weekend!


Also this month was Colin's 4-year-old graduation. I think it is silly to have a big graduation with gowns and hats, but that is what was done. He was so proud and earned "Most likely to replace Toby McGuire as Spiderman" for his class. He sang some super cute songs and there was an adorable slide show put together for the class. Again, no pictures due to that pesky memory card. Bah.

3. June--One 5-year-old and one 2-year-old coming up!! We celebrated with the kids and their friends the weekend before their birthdays since both were in the middle of the week. I actually have some pictures of that! We braved the massive thunderstorm that hit right as we set up shop at the park, and the kids ended up having the time of their lives playing in the rain and puddles! It turned out awesome, albeit a little bit wet and windy!



On Colin's actual Birthday, we filled him up with Iron Man toys and let him pick dinner. He picked Red Lobster! I guess all my bad mouthing of McDonald's has worked! I have a couple of those pictures, too.


Christopher also had an Iron Man kind of day, although those pictures are on the same memory card as the rest that are MIA. (Ugh. This is starting to depress me!) We had another fun day, and I believe we went out for lunch on his day, although my memories are a bit blurry here.



On June 5th, we headed up to my parents' house to stay for a 3 week long vacation. It was such a blast! We celebrated the boys' birthdays yet again, and were inundated with toys (mostly super loud ones thanks to my lovely family members). They had the time of of their lives! I was able to help mom weed her flower beds (it took us quite a while, but we got it done) and I helped my Grandma prepare for her move to Florida. I got to spend a lot of time with her which is always such a blessing to me. I loved spending so much time with my mom and dad as well...and I even got a little bit spoiled by them. :)



During this trip, Roger had a business trip in DC, so he was up for the weekend in the middle and we got to spend an evening in DC while Mom and Dad hung out with the boys for us. We went to Morton's Steak House for dinner, and once we stuffed our eyes back inside our heads after getting the bill, we walked back to the hotel and just relaxed without worrying about what the kids were up to. We still have nightmares about that dinner bill, but we figure we don't do stuff like that, say, EVER so one time will not ruin us! We headed back to my parents' stayed one night, and then drove to Stafford to visit with Roger's family for Father's Day. What an added blessing that they live so close to my parents. We had a wonderful day of water slide and food, some adult beverages and Rock Band, with some badminton thrown in for kicks. It's always a lot of fun with Bobby, Elizabeth, Danielle, and Sue. There was also the added bonus of Aunt Doris being there that put the cherry on top. It's times like these that we really wish we lived closer to everyone so we could have more weekends like this! After our weekend, Roger drove back down south, and I headed back to my parents house.


Colin was also taking swimming lessons during this time, and in 3 weeks, went from non-swimmer to being able to float without assistance (in deep water) and swimming like a fish under water. It was really fun to watch! He had a lot of fun, and Christopher even decided that he wanted to learn to swim...he is an eager kid and wants to do everything that Colin does. He thinks Colin is the bees' knees!


4. July--I was deep into training for my half marathon, Roger was deep into studying for his full load of courses, and we were all deep into the summer heat! We had several days over 100, which keeps my "I hate heat" self inside. You would think that this would make me do things around the house, but nope, I just enjoyed my leisure time with the kids. My nephew came down for a week during this month and stayed with us. It is always fun to experience my nieces and nephews on a solo trip. It's cool to get to see more of their personalities that sometimes get overshadowed by their siblings when everyone is around. It is also a special bond for me. Watching them grow up has been amazing!



5. August--This month has been spent preparing Colin for Kindergarten and me preparing to kill my body in a 13.1 mile run over Labor Day. Colin had shown anxiety about Kindergarten all through the summer because he was afraid of not knowing anyone. We talked and talked about how great it would be, and finally, right before the meet and greet with his teacher, he decided that he was excited about being a big kid. I found out that his teacher was Mrs. Watson (the same teacher who in the parent orientation told us that we could make learning "funner" for our kids if they don't know they are learning. Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that this blatant mistake in speech drives me bananas. I was none too pleased with this teacher selection, but decided to give her a chance. Upon actually meeting her, I found that she is a very nice and seemingly knowledgeable person and Colin seems to like her, too. Unfortunately, at the meet and greet, he had one of his famous headaches and couldn't wow them with his happy, smart, talkative self. I felt so bad for him! He started school on August 16, and cried every morning for the first 2 weeks. He seems to have finally gotten used to it, and has loads to tell me every afternoon!



Christopher is going to preschool! He starts tomorrow for 2 days a week in the 2-year-old room with Ms. BethAnn. I had gone back and forth all year about whether or not to send him this year, and when the job thing kept changing, I just decided to not put him in. Well, as soon as Christopher saw that Colin was going, he literally was begging to go to school, too! "Me go school! Me go school, too!" I was so excited to get the call that there was an opening!

I am also excited to announce that I will be working at the preschool those two days a week that Christopher goes in. I will be in the baby room! I can't wait to get my hands on those adorable little ones! It will be nice to be in the same place as Christopher, with people that I trust, and also be here for Colin in the mornings and afternoons. God blessed me with this schedule! I will also be able to maintain my training schedule with my clients and will be picking up a couple of new ones in the process. Looks like it will be a busy year for me! Can't wait.



So this leads me to now...I am supposed to run the Virginia Beach Rock and Roll Half Marathon this weekend with my brother, Jimmy and my friend, Carole (who I have been doing all of my training with). I will have to let you know how that turns out, considering that Hurricane Earl is supposed to hit at the end of the week. Hopefully, I don't blow away!

I hope you enjoyed this encapsulated version of the Millers' lives this summer, and I will do my best not to wait so long in the future...it was annoying to try and remember it all.

Months later, but here I am...

Well, my hiatus is coming to an end...for now, anyway. I always restart my blogging with a renewed vigor and then it fizzles out on me. This is unfortunate especially considering that our lives don't stop during these breaks. This means that there is always a lot going on and those of you who still read this (or attempt to read my lack of posts) are missing out. I just simply haven't felt like writing. Now that summer's over, I will try to write more. I promise. Maybe.

Work, shmirk...

Yep, it's happening. I'm going back to work. Not just 7 hours a week when I see my clients regularly work...real, get up in the morning and go to work, work.

This brings on many different emotions for me. Fear (can I still be an effective teacher?), anxiety (what has changed in the last 5 years?), excitement (It will be nice to be with adults and to use my skills again), and, oddly, pride (I was a great teacher to my students!).

Mixed emotions doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing. Yes, I have been out of teaching for 5 years and I am sure there have been some changes. Not to mention that I will be starting in a totally different state and having to relearn different state methodologies. I will have to get used to a very regularized routine again and will have to do it with two kids in tow rather than just myself. This is probably what brings me the most anxiety. Anyone who knows me knows that I HATE MORNING. Even with all of these doubts, fears, and what ifs, I am feeling overall pretty positive about it.

I did some great things with my students. For example, take the 10 year old 4th grade ESL/non reading student with a learning disability who after 3 months of intensive reading help was reading on a 2nd grade level by the time she entered 5th grade. I hadn't even started with her until January and by the end of 5th grade, she was doing even better. I also remember a 4th grade student with emotional disturbance who would shut down and not talk and told me he "f***ing hated me" on the first day of school, who was able to be totally mainstreamed into the general ed math class in 5th grade. Then there is the 4th grader who was pulling his hair out, literally, and had bald spots due to high anxiety over his home life, who was able to go in the general ed classroom for most of his day by 5th grade. Then there was Edwin (he passed away while a part of my class in 2002) who till the day he died referred to me as the one who loved him the most. These stories are some of my greatest joys from my days of teaching and those are the things I have missed.

Unfortunately teaching was not always fun and games and joys and triumphs. I had run-ins with administrators who didn't see that what I was doing was effective because the test scores didn't reflect that. I was told by one that I was too emotional about my students. I was told I was not doing a good enough job by an assistant principal who had me under a microscope about everything from my wording on IEPs (Individualized Education Programs), to my teaching methods, and right down to what I drank my coffee in (she didn't like that I drank out of a mug). Then watching them totally botch Edwin's situation (ask me about it, it's too much for this blog) and treat he and his mother like dirt really pretty much ruined me for teaching back then. I couldn't get past the fact that if all I had to do was be with the kids and work with them the way they truly needed and the administration and yep, I'll say it, the GOVERNMENT would stay out of my classroom then I would have a lot more of those great stories to share. There were too many rules that they tried to apply to my kids that wanted them to fit into a mold and didn't take into account why they were in my class in the first place. Just plain stupid of them if you ask me.

Anyway, I have chosen to get re-certified and get back into the grind. I am hoping that my experience will be better this time and hopefully I can make a difference for some kids who need it. Frankly, who need ME. Please pray that God is able to make the best use of these talents of mine to be the best wife, mother, and teacher that I can be and that I don't want to punch too many administrators in the face. That would look bad on my resume, right?

Who doesn't love puke?

Ah, joy of all joys.

Christopher is sick. Not just a little sick, but puke all over the foyer and himself, then slip and fall in it, take a bath, go to bed, wake up fine until after breakfast then poop 5 times in 15 minutes and puke all over Mommy 3 times sick.

Fun.

The poor kid seems so much better after he pukes, but then he wants to eat and his stomach apparently doesn't appreciate that. So, I think I am going to just starve him until whatever this bug is goes away.

Maybe if we are really lucky it will make its way through all 4 of us and we can all get to experience it. That would just be awesome. I'll call it family bonding, or the key phrase "quality time." I guess it's time to break the Lysol back out. I don't want that kind of bonding.

Justice

Justice

February 11, 1999-February 18, 2010

We love you!

For those of you who don't already know, I am sad to tell you that we had to put Justice down last week. He was starting to suffer and his body was completely giving out on him. I will save the details, but suffice it to say it was time. It was by far one of the hardest things I have had to endure, and don't think that I will be buying any new pets in the near future. It's hard enough knowing that Sophie will not be around forever and having to go through the heartwrenching decision again. I stayed with him through it all, and am glad that I did, however much I want to get the vision out of my head. He went very peacefully, but I will never forget the vet saying "He's gone." Much harder than I ever anticipated. Thanks for all of your support and love, Justice was a phenomenal dog and I will be forever grateful for the 6.5 years that he was a part of my life.

Justice loved being allowed on the bed...I love this picture of him.

Justice loved playing with Sophie, his partner in crime.

Sophie will miss her buddy, as will the rest of us.

Snowing in the Carolinas

Well, the weather man actually got it right this time! Our first snow of the winter season arrived last night and is still here! Usually it comes in at about 1/2 an inch and is melted by midday. Not today! Unfortunately, the snow is covered in about a 1/2 inch of ice, but that didn't keep Colin and Christopher from wanting to play in it! I love it when it is white outside! It's beautiful! So here are the pictures of our giant South Carolina snow--aka the blizzard of 2010!

Change

I woke up feeling a bit off this morning and had a hard time figuring out what the deal was. Did I just not want to clean like I knew I needed to? Did I not feel like playing referee to the boys today? Was I just anxious for Roger to get home? What was wrong with me?

As I was preparing myself to mop the kitchen floor (joy of all joys), I glanced at the calendar and caught the date. January 29th. I immediately had a flashback to a night in college that changed me forever. After realizing the date, I couldn't get it out of my head, so here I sit, contemplating the date, the event, and the aftermath, even though it was 11 years ago. I guess the memory will always be as vivid as if it were happening again.

Many of you know about this occurrence because you were there for it. Not the actual event, but the time before and the time after were part of your lives, too. It was a time of turmoil in my 20-year-old life and I had to figure out who I was and who I could count on. The event didn't wake me up as some might have hoped. I still went back. I even stood up for the guy. A lot. I kept trying to make it all right, to make it seem as though it had changed not only me and my outlook on things, but his, too. Wrong.

A switch flipped inside me, although outwardly it may not have seemed like it. I had always sworn that it would never be me, that I would never put up with something like that. And why couldn't people just see that it was OK, he was sorry? Because he wasn't. Everyone saw it. As much as I hated to admit it, I saw it, too. He didn't change, but I did. I became angrier and less trusting. I shrank into myself and tried to become someone I wasn't, someone he and his family wanted me to be. As hard as I tried, I couldn't be that person, but instead of stopping the charade, I just built up higher walls. I figured this was what was supposed to be for me and my life, so I had to figure out how to make it work.

Life doesn't always work out the way that it was planned out in your own head. What you think you know often turns out to be totally false and gets flipped around. Luckily and by the grace of God, the lie was revealed to me a couple of years later when everything that I deep down already knew was going on came to light. He hadn't changed in those years, and we still had times where he was just plain mean, treating me like dirt. Had he not made the decision that he didn't want to do it anymore with me, then who knows where I would have been today? As soon as he left, my eyes were opened and my heart, once broken, seemed to start healing. It wasn't easy at first, but shortly I realized that it was the best thing that could have happened. The realization that I could move on and find real love was uplifting and I felt the real me start to come back. The fiery, competitive, fun-loving me.

Fortunately, I was blessed with just that. God gave me Roger and showed me what I wanted in his eyes and heart. He was my prayers' answer. Unfortunately, I brought along a bit of baggage. I still tend to guard myself and have a hard time with trust. If I feel that someone is trying to control me, even if it is something as small as asking a simple question, I buck up against it. Roger is great at reassuring me during these times that it is OK that I have an opinion, even if it doesn't match his, but that I don't have to yell and scream to get it across or fear some sort of retribution. I just have to be me, as long as I am letting him be him, too.

I thought that I was pretty much OK with all of these memories, but today I realized that I probably need to release more of the hurt and anger. I'm a work in progress, I guess. Thankfully, it's not a never ending job and I can see the building going up, even as my walls are coming down. Yep, I'm a changed woman, and this time for the better.

Love, hugs, and busted lips?

Colin and Christopher have decided that they adore each other. Just this afternoon they were rolling around on the floor giggling and hugging each other. Christopher walks up to Colin and gives him kisses, and Colin tries to make Christopher laugh by tickling and being cuddly with him. Those are the times that parenthood are so joyful and wonderful and I get teary eyed. I love that they love each other so much.

Then there are the times when they are playing together upstairs in the bedroom and all goes well until Colin drops Christopher on his head into the footboard and Christopher busts his lip and bleeds everywhere. Oh, and even better when Mommy isn't home and Daddy who can't walk has to crutch his way up the stairs to take care of it. Ah, yes, parenthood. Who doesn't love a fat lip? I know this is just the beginning of the fat lips and black eyes and possible broken noses, so I guess that I will just have to stock up on band aids, Neosporin, and health insurance and enjoy the ride.

Here is a sweet picture of the boys...

...and seconds later.

Update

Roger is doing extremely well in his recovery and healing. His range of motion is far exceeding what the doctor and physical therapists expected. The doctor was very impressed with his own work as well, saying that if it weren't for the screws and plates visible in the x-ray that his bone and joint were perfect!

This progress has been a huge sigh of relief for everyone involved, and if I'm being honest, Roger is the most relieved. I am dying to have him totally healed and back to normal, but I think that he wants it even more than me. He has been back to work pretty much full time and is getting less and less tired during the week, even after being on the crutches or in the wheelchair. I am back to my training schedule and it is keeping us pretty busy.

Anyway, I thought everyone might appreciate a progress report on the crazy last few months. It's going well and we are so appreciative for all of the continued prayers and love!

Some pictures to join my brain dump from last post

These photos are not in chronological order, but I don't like messing with the pictures on here too much because it is a pain in the neck.

This is where Roger spent his Thanksgiving day. Poor thing. You can tell he was a bit drugged up though, huh?

Christopher went swimming, too. I was too chicken to go in the water so my Uncle John took him in. He was in heaven.

Colin in the pool in Florida. He had a blast!

Colin was the ring-bearer...he was so cute! He walked down the aisle with his hands in his pockets looking all GQ!Christopher hanging with Aunt Alicia before we left to go downstairs to the wedding. Mr. Smiles.

This is Roger and I before the wedding...yep, we're hot!